Stepping into the dark corridors of the human psyche, we confront the daunting reality of family annihilations, where those meant to protect become the perpetrators of ultimate betrayal. As I weave through my master's studies, the weight of understanding coercive control and its link to intimate partner homicide bears heavily on this episode. We honour the victims, not just as statistics, but as individuals whose stories demand to be heard and remembered.
Harnessing the power of research and the heartfelt words from those left behind, we seek to comprehend the incomprehensible. The discussion delves into the motivations of men like Robert Mochrie and John List, whose twisted sense of control and masculinity led them down a path of destruction, forever altering the course of many lives. In giving voice to the sorrow and strength of the families affected, we reaffirm our commitment to keeping the memory of the lost alive. Through this exploration, we aim to foster a deeper understanding of these tragedies, their underlying causes, and the importance of ongoing research and dialogue to prevent future losses. Join us as we navigate these turbulent waters, in the hope of shining a light on the darkness that is family annihilation.
This episode is dedicated to the 37 women and children who lost their lives too soon at the hands of someone who should have loved and protected them the most:
Shannan Watts, Bella, CeCe and Nico Watts, Hannah Clarke, Aaliyah, Laianah and Trey Clarke, Catherine Mochrie, Bethan, Luke, Sian, and James Mochrie, Jill Bluestone, Henry and Chandler, Jessica and Jack Bluestone, Claire and Charlotte Hart, Helen, Patricia, Frederick, John Frederick and Alma List, Megan, Alek, Tyler and Zoe Todt, Teresa, Katherine, James and Karen Crawford, Emma and Letti Pattison, Julia and Will Pemberton and Laci and Conner Peterson.
Stepping into the dark corridors of the human psyche, we confront the daunting reality of family annihilations, where those meant to protect become the perpetrators of ultimate betrayal. As I weave through my master's studies, the weight of understanding coercive control and its link to intimate partner homicide bears heavily on this episode. We honour the victims, not just as statistics, but as individuals whose stories demand to be heard and remembered.
Harnessing the power of research and the heartfelt words from those left behind, we seek to comprehend the incomprehensible. The discussion delves into the motivations of men like Robert Mochrie and John List, whose twisted sense of control and masculinity led them down a path of destruction, forever altering the course of many lives. In giving voice to the sorrow and strength of the families affected, we reaffirm our commitment to keeping the memory of the lost alive. Through this exploration, we aim to foster a deeper understanding of these tragedies, their underlying causes, and the importance of ongoing research and dialogue to prevent future losses. Join us as we navigate these turbulent waters, in the hope of shining a light on the darkness that is family annihilation.
This episode is dedicated to the 37 women and children who lost their lives too soon at the hands of someone who should have loved and protected them the most:
Shannan Watts, Bella, CeCe and Nico Watts, Hannah Clarke, Aaliyah, Laianah and Trey Clarke, Catherine Mochrie, Bethan, Luke, Sian, and James Mochrie, Jill Bluestone, Henry and Chandler, Jessica and Jack Bluestone, Claire and Charlotte Hart, Helen, Patricia, Frederick, John Frederick and Alma List, Megan, Alek, Tyler and Zoe Todt, Teresa, Katherine, James and Karen Crawford, Emma and Letti Pattison, Julia and Will Pemberton and Laci and Conner Peterson.
He was a devoted dad. He loved his family so much he was kind and gentle. He just snapped. These are all the things that have been said in public about men who've killed their whole families. I don't believe these statements show the true nature of familiar side, and Killer in the Family podcast explores more. Hi there, happy new year and welcome to Killer in the Family podcast. I'm your host, claire Luxden. Here we are in 2024 and I can't wait to get started.
Speaker 1:
I was really ill over Christmas and although I'm still a bit croaky, I was really pleased to be feeling better this week and just able to spend time with family and friends a bit over the festive season. I really hope you all had good and peaceful festive seasons as well. I know it's not the easiest time for everyone, so if you weren't surrounded by family and friends, I hope you managed to find some rest and peace and find some time for yourselves. I also got a walking treadmill for Christmas from my lovely husband so I can walk while I work as well. I decided not to use it today as I thought I might sound a bit breathless and a couple of my friends, when I was telling them about it, thought I might sound like really out of breath if I was walking and recording too. So I'm just standing in step and, as we start the new year, I wanted to say a massive thank you again to all of you amazing listeners for all your support since I launched the podcast in September last year. I am so excited that Killer in the Family is already in the top 50% of all podcasts and is being listened to in 31 countries and has had nearly 3,000 downloads since it's launched. So a massive thank you to everyone and a real special shout out to my listeners in Toronto, in Canada, where it's getting most listens at the moment. Now I think I know who some of you are, but obviously there's lots of friends and family getting involved as well. So thank you to everyone in Toronto as well.
Speaker 1:
So this episode is coming to you as I've just submitted all my first assessments for my master's modules. I had completely forgotten the stress of Christmas essay writing, but I really enjoyed researching and writing them all, so hopefully I will do okay in them. One of the assessments I handed in was my research proposal for my master's dissertation and I think I mentioned last time I've decided to do my dissertation on the link between coercive control and intimate partner homicide, which is when someone is killed by a partner or ex-partner. As part of the research, I'll be doing a systematic review of evidence, also a review of domestic homicide reviews too. I'm a little bit daunted by all the work, to be honest, but excited to get stuck in and see what we can learn about preventing intimate partner homicides, which includes familiar sides, and saving the lives of women and children. Anyway, back to the podcast.
Speaker 1:
So today's episode, the first episode of 2024, I thought it'd be good to do a bit of a roundup. So looking at all the stories of the 11 families we've already covered on Keller and the Family podcast and sort of what themes are coming out of them. The stories we've already covered highlight the experiences of 11 families and 37 women and children who have been killed. So already we are looking at a huge number of people, a huge number of women and children whose lives have been destroyed by men who have decided to kill their whole families. Next week we'll be back with another new story of a man who's killed his whole family. And just to note as well, I think I said in the last episode before Christmas, family annihilation seemed to be more common, potentially around Christmas and New Year. Maybe it's because there are times when men know their partners and children will be away from school or work so they won't be missed. Or maybe it's the added pressure of Christmas New Year that makes them finally put their plans for family annihilation in place. Whatever the reason, I'm sure that we are all thinking of those who have lost loved ones during Christmas and New Year in this horrific way. So back to this episode. This is going to be a tough lesson. Here are the stories Shanan Watts, bella Watts, cece Watts, nico Watts, hannah Clark, alia Leana and Trey Clark, catherine Mockrey, bethan Luke, sean and James Mockrey, jill Bluestone, henry and Chandler, jessica and Jack Bluestone, claire and Charlotte Hart, helen, patricia Frederick, john Frederick and Alma List, megan Alec, kyla and Zoe Tote, theresa, catherine, james and Karen Crawford, emma and Letty Pattinson, julia and Will Pemberton and Lacey and Connor Peterson.
Speaker 1:
So going back to the first ever episode of Killer and the Family, you might remember how Professor Dietz first coined the term family annihilator in his paper in 1986. He stated quote family annihilators usually the senior man of the house who is depressed, paranoid, intoxicated or a combination of these. He kills each member of the family who is present, sometimes including pets, end quote. And there was also research that identified four types of annihilators and this was researched by Elizabeth Yardley, david Wilson and Adam Lynes. And just to recap, those four types of annihilators that they identified are self-righteous, so they seek to blame their partner or ex-partner for the annihilation they have been controlling or possessive within the family. And they're very narcissistic and dramatic. They might take their own life or make attempts to do so to avoid being judged by the criminal justice system. The second type is disappointed, so he believes that his family has let him down, somehow sees him as an extension of his own needs, desires, hopes and aspirations. The third one is anomic they've lost the source of the family's income and would rather die than experience the humiliation of that. And the fourth is the paranoid annihilator, who believes that an external threat, which could be real or imagined, will destroy his family. So in his mind, killing his family is a way of protecting them. And in the research they concluded that family annihilators were all linked by masculinity and the need to exert power and control in situations when masculinity has been threatened. So any answer to preventing familiar side should consider the gender and power dynamics between genders in it.
Speaker 1:
Now, as you know, throughout the episodes I've added a fifth type of family annihilator to this list the escapee annihilator. So a man who feels trapped by his marriage and family and responsibilities and, for whatever reason, instead of getting a divorce, decides to kill his whole family. And thinking about all the families that we talked about in the first episodes of the podcast, I would say most of them fit into the self-righteous, anomic and escapee categories. What do you all think and I was also thinking about this and from all the stories and research that I've done so far the self-righteous category I feel like should be renamed as abusive, as that seems to be their modus operandi more than righteousness. But I guess that's one to think about and talk about. So before we talk about some of the themes from all the stories we've talked about in the podcast so far, I wanted to give a bit of an update on one of the most recent stories we discussed on the podcast.
Speaker 1:
In February last year, emma and Letty Patterson were killed by their husband and father. Some of the media reaction to their murders focused on Emma's high-flying career and the impact that had on her husband. It massively sought to victim-blame and justify his actions, rather than holding him to account. Now, in early December last year, emma's sister, deborah Kirk do you remember that Emma and her sister competed in singing competitions in Lincolnshire when they were younger wrote the Most Powerful Piece in the Times in the UK about Emma and Letty. She talked about the night they were killed and also published letters, poems and writing she'd done since the murders. I can honestly say I've never read such raw, emotional, accurate reflection of the impact of familiar side. I've linked to Deborah's piece in the episode notes, but it is behind the Times paywall so I thought I'd talk about it in a few extracts here.
Speaker 1:
The article starts with Deborah recalling that night in February 2023. It was late in the evening on February 4th. I was with my parents and we were playing Trivial Pursuit a family favourite when my phone rang. Scooby came up on the screen with a familiar picture of a bride with blue eyes scorched with love. It was my sister. We called each other Scooby, one of those long yet ultimately inexplicable sister stories. There had been an altercation between her and her husband, george, and she asked me to come over. My husband and I arrived at a silent house where no one was answering the door. No one was answering the door because they were all dead. Between that phone call and our arrival, my brother-in-law had shot my sister, their daughter and himself with a sporting shotgun. Deborah said in the article how she wrote every day to help her process. What happened I just can't imagine.
Speaker 1:
Through her writings the ones published in the Times it became clear that George, emma's husband and Letty's father, was abusive and controlling, and she said that Emma had planned to leave George and told her so the weekend before the killing. When Emma and Letty were killed in February last year, there wasn't a sense that domestic abuse or controlling and coercive behaviour was present, although obviously to me there could have been and there must have been. But through what Deborah is saying, it's clear that actually there was abusive and controlling behaviour and that Emma was actually planning to leave George. So again we've got separation and which, as we know, increases someone's risk of homicide. In one piece of writing Deborah wrote quote we heard the story of our dearest girls and what they had suffered, not just that evening but prior to it, and it has introduced me to a new level of suffering. I honestly thought that I had honestly had thought that all of the corridors of anguish have been travelled, all the doors flung open with the agony rushing in like suppressed water. But there are new doors, new dark waters. They keep bursting open, the waters keep coming and overwhelming us. End quote, quote the never-ending turmoil of wanting to have done better but not knowing what that could have looked like.
Speaker 1:
Have been told that behaviours were classic and reflected a pattern, pattern I've now read about in literature on domestic homicide, in articles on familiar side, a pattern that I, a reasonable, astute and knowing but apparently blameless close sister and best friend of the victim, did not spot. Hold my darlings, my loves. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't know better. It's too late now, forgive me. End quote. Wow, I think if there's anything that sums up the impact of familiar side, this is it. There was a lot of life too soon, but there was also the impact on family, friends and communities that cuts deep and long for so many.
Speaker 1:
So, looking back on the stories we told on Keller and the Family podcast last year, I think one theme stands out for me and that is abuse and control. We've talked a lot about domestic abuse and coercive control in many of the episodes of Keller and the Family Herpetrators like Rowan Baxter, kyle Bluestone and Alan Pemberton all spring to mind as those who were controlling and abusive and when their partners left them, they thought it was their entitlement to decide when they and their children lived. They committed their final act of control by deciding when their wives and children died. Sometimes, when I talk to people about the podcast, they express disbelief at how someone could kill their children, and I think when you think about these men as absolutely believing that their wife and children belong to them, then you can start to understand why they feel like they have the right to end their lives.
Speaker 1:
It's not about love or family. It's about control, pure and simple. What isn't simple is how to identify it and prevent it. Now, as you know, coercing and controlling behaviour is a criminal offence in England and Wales, and has been since 2015. In fact, the end of December marked 80 years since it had been passed into law, and whether the law is working to better protect survivors and victims of domestic abuse is a question that research is still looking at. What I think the criminalisation has done is increase awareness of coercive control and what it is. For me, control lies at the heart of so many intimate partner homicides. When it can be identified, people's lives can be saved.
Speaker 1:
Women's aid defines some key behaviours associated with coercive control which I thought might be helpful to talk about here. So they include isolating you from friends and family. Depriving you of basic needs such as food. Monitoring your time, monitoring you via online communications tools or spyware. Taking control over aspects of your everyday life, such as where you can go, who you can see, what you can wear and when you can sleep. Depriving you of access to support services, such as medical services. Repeatedly putting you down, saying you're worthless, humiliating, degrading or dehumanising you, controlling your finances, making threats or intimidating you and I would add a couple there, just from the stories that we've talked about, that are also making threats to children or making threats to pets as well, and, as we've talked about before, as individual behaviours they may seem pretty innocuous. Taking together in that list, taking together in a life, they are dangerous and if you need any help or support a domestic abuse or coercive control, there is information in the episode notes on organisations and support organisations that can help you. I'm thinking more about control.
Speaker 1:
There is a brilliant professor called Jane Moncton Smith who actually was recognised in New Year's honours this year. She's a former police officer and actually worked in Yorkshire during the time Sutcliffe was killing women. She's now a criminologist and specialisers in public protection and Jane has created something called the domestic homicide timeline, which aims to help professionals understand the risk factors with homicide and try and prevent them. Her book is called In Control Dangerous Relationships and how they End In Murder. It's an absolute must read for anyone interested in coercive control and homicides. I've read it many times already from my master's dissertation. So in her book she says through all her research on intimate partner homicide she sees a pattern of coercive control ending in murder and she's identified eight stages of homicide, which are stage one, the history of controlled or stalking. Stage two, the commitment whirlwind or you might hear this described as love bombing. Stage three, living with control. Stage four, the trigger. Stage five, escalation. Stage six, a change in thinking. Stage seven, planning. Stage eight, homicide and or suicide. And I think this timeline and these stages are really interesting. To prevent homicide today it's dependent on professionals recognising it and taking action.
Speaker 1:
Another theme that has come out in episodes so far is the failure of police and others to protect women and families, especially in the face of domestic abuse and escalating control. Hannah Clark and her children were failed when Rowan Baxter's contravention of a domestic violence protection order wasn't dealt with. You might remember in that episode that a couple of officers went to interview him and agreed to come back a few days later so he can sort of properly be interviewed at the police station, but a few days later he had killed his family and himself Again. Jill Bluestone and her children were failed over and over again when Carl Bluestone's arrest for domestic abuse offences weren't charged and he wasn't held accountable for his actions. Don't forget that Carl was a police officer, so the very people that were supposed to be holding him accountable were his colleagues. He wasn't even under any disciplinary process. And still I find that so unfathomable that, as someone whose whole job it is to prevent crime and preserve life, that he was just left to commit those crimes, to commit assault against his wife and not be held accountable for it, and Julian Will-Petton, who were failed pretty much every single time they reported something to the police. Julia would have felt like she was doing everything right, reporting every incident and every threat that her husband gave to her and believing the domestic abuse coordinator when she said that her address was red flagged on their system. They were failed over and over again by the police, not sharing information with each other and joining up the dots of Alan's escalating behaviour, control and threats. They paid the price for that with their lives.
Speaker 1:
The next theme that has come up in episodes so far has been one of men wanting to escape their families and responsibilities the escapee annihilator. So people like Chris Watts, peterson and Elmer Crawford callously planned the killing of their whole families purely because they didn't want their impending family responsibility or they were having an affair and wanted out of their whole family. And I think it's interesting that these three perpetrators are ones that didn't take their own life. And what befuddled so many about these types of killers is that divorce seems like a much easier option than meticulously planning and killing their families, and mostly they don't get away with it Apart from Elmer Crawford, that is. And what I've learnt doing the research for this podcast is that these men are different. They don't think in the same logical way that divorce is the way to go. So them, they've mostly spent their lives being the good guy, they're the best husband, they're the best father and they're just a great all-round guy. They're also so narcissistic that they don't want anyone to think bad of them. So if they got divorced, especially if they were having an affair, which would make them the bad guy, this would be totally unacceptable to the way that they view themselves and the way that they want other people to view them. They've also probably been so molly coddled in their life that they genuinely believe that they will get away with murder. And again, this seems to fly in the face of logic and understanding, but in the US, homicide is actually the biggest killer of pregnant women than anything else. So there is something about pregnancy, a child coming into the world, and an increased responsibility that perpetrators feel so acutely that that means they decide to kill their partners and families, something I will truly never understand. I hope to be able to prevent. I'm finally going to talk about those family annihilators that seemingly acts out of the blue, with no previous warning signs. The Anomic Annihilator.
Speaker 1:
People like Robert Mockrey, john List and Tony Tote might seem like the hardest killers to predict and stop. Even they follow a pattern that can be seen if people are looking closely enough. Now, for all of these three, financial ruin seems to be at the heart of their murders of their families. Robert Mockrey was facing huge debts and the prospect of losing his house at the time when he meticulously killed his whole family. John List was basically broke and Tony Tote was under federal investigation for fraud when he killed his whole family. And what's common for all of these men is that they hid their financial issues from everyone their family, friends, community and colleagues. They seemed deeply ashamed of where they got to, not that that is any excuse for what they did.
Speaker 1:
All of these murders, as we discussed in the individual episodes, seem to be tied up with the men's need to be the provider, to be the arbiter of what happened to their families, ie to be the sole provider and decider. As the research we talked about earlier stated, these feelings are also mixed up with the concept of their masculinity and, with them struggling financially, it put pressure on their masculinity and what they saw as their right and role as father and provider, their entitlement over their family. And I still believe that, although mockery, lists and Tote's crimes could be said to have been motivated by finances, it was still control that was at the heart of what they did, still control that guided their hands as they killed their wives and family. It was the control they needed over their family to decide when they died and in what context that was most important to them. Ultimately, they were driven by control and a desire to save face in light of their perceived failures, and it makes me so sad that all of these women and children had to lose their lives because their fathers couldn't or wouldn't talk about their issues, admit that they needed help and support and ultimately, potentially save the lives of their families.
Speaker 1:
Now, before we finish this episode, I wanted to share that I've had a couple of messages from people who knew two of the families that we've talked about in Killer and the Family podcast. Both of these people said that the podcast episode I did on their family and friends that they knew and loved was really good and important too, and I can't explain how much it means to receive these messages. As you know, my intention with this podcast was to send to the victims in their lives, not the perpetrators. It was to tell their stories and keep their memories alive, not the perpetrators. To know that people are listening, who knew these women and children means the world to me and pushes me on to do even more. This episode is dedicated to the 37 women and children who lost their lives too soon at the hands of someone who should have loved and protected them the most Megan, alec Tyler and Zoe Tote, teresa, catherine, james and Karen Crawford, emma and Letty Patterson, julia and Will Pemberton, and Lacey and Connor Peterson. I'm going to finish this episode with part of a poem written by Deborah Kirk, sister of Emma Patterson. Let me run to the hills because I am here, because I can, and if I should tire, I will still desire the same, for I wish to do it all and do it all in her name, and when I am done here is my greatest ask. But I am with her again, together at last.
Speaker 1:
This has been Killer in the Family podcast, written and produced by me, claire Laxton, with music from the brilliant Tom Box and Pixabay. I'll be back next week with another episode, so please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. I'll also be giving shoutouts to any five star reviews, so please do leave me a review on Apple podcasts and follow me on social media. At Killer in the Family pod. Do let me know any stories you'd like me to cover as well. Until then, I've been Claire Laxton. This is Killer in the Family podcast. Until next time, take care.