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Killer in the family podcast
A true crime podcast exploring men who kill their families.
Killer in the family podcast
Episode 35 - The Day Family
On 8 December 2011, just days after being sacked from Leicestershire Police, former police inspector Toby Day killed his wife Samantha and six-year-old daughter Genevieve before taking his own life. Their two older children Adam and Kimberley managed to survive his attack.
This is the story of The Day Family.
Information and support
· Samaritans UK Contact Us | Samaritans
· National Domestic Violence Helpline UK 0808 2000 247
· Women’s Aid www.womensaid.org.uk
· Mental health support USA I'm looking for mental health help for myself | Mental Health America (mhanational.org)
· Domestic abuse helpline USA 1.800.799.SAFE Domestic Violence Support | National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org)
References
Clare Laxton is fundraising for Women's Aid Federation Of England (justgiving.com)
Melton Mowbray policeman kills his wife and child after losing job | Crime | The Guardian
vawg-what-we-will-do.pdf (leics.police.uk)
Ex-policeman Toby Day was hailed for bravery - BBC News
BARONESS CASEY REVIEW Final Report (met.police.uk)
Family sets up charity in memory of Samantha Day - BBC News
Met chief says millions of men are danger to women and girls in England and
Cozen O’Connor Public Strategies - The Beltway BriefingListen for of-the-moment insider insights, framed by the rapidly changing social and...
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Hi there and welcome to Killer in the Family podcast. I'm your host, claire Laxton.
Speaker 1:Welcome to episode 35 of Killer in the Family podcast. It's so exciting that we've got this far. I don't have any updates today, so let's get straight into this episode. This case was actually suggested to me by Kate, so thank you very much for the suggestion, kate, and do you keep all story suggestions coming in? Get in touch with me on insta at killer in the family pod, or send me a text through the episode notes on the link in the episode notes and I'll add them to the list. This is also a case which involves police perpetrated homicide, and the next episode is as well.
Speaker 1:On the 8th of December 2011, just days after being sacked from Leicestershire Police, former police inspector Toby Day killed his wife Samantha and six-year-old daughter Genevieve, before taking his own life. Their two older children, adam and Kimberly, managed to survive his attack. This is the story of the Day family. This is going to be a tough listen, as every episode really is. There are links to information and support in the episode notes if you need it Now. For this episode, I have relied on news stories and articles from my sources, as there isn't loads out there about the Day family and what happened to them, and I think, as far as I can tell, this is the first podcast episode about this case. As usual, all my sources are linked in the episode notes and, as I said in the intro, this is about police perpetrated homicide and we last talked about that issue with the Bluestone family. We'll address some of the issues and questions that this raises later on in the episode.
Speaker 1:So let's start by talking about Samantha, or Sam Day. She was just 38 years old when she was killed by her husband, toby Day. Now some news sources have called him Tobias, but most call him Toby, so I'm just going to stick with that. But I just wanted to flag that if you're sort of looking further into this case, then you might see that he is called Tobias. Now Sam had a brother and was really close to her parents, janet and John Neil. They actually spoke to BBC News about Sam and said that quote she was always there for you, saw the best in people and was caring and just loved life. They talked about her love of children and family and that was something that she demonstrated in her professional life as she worked at a local nursery school. Now, during her funeral, reverend Hildred Crowther said about Sam quote Sam will be remembered for her bubbly personality and her quick wit. These, combined with her warm and caring nature, brought her many friends. Now I have to say that Sam just sounded like a really lovely, caring person who valued her children and her family and who showed care and consideration to everyone. Like that's the sense that I get from everything that I've read about Claire. That's the sense that I get from everything that I've read about Claire.
Speaker 1:Now I couldn't find loads of information about how Sam met Toby Day, but they married in Leicestershire in 1994 and went on to have three children. Kimberly was the eldest and was 15 years old when her father, day, attacked his family. Adam was the middle child and was 13 years old when Day attacked his family. The youngest was Genevieve, or Jenny as she was known, who was just six years old when she was killed by her father. Now, at Jenny's funeral, the Reverend Crowther talked about her as a beautiful girl who wanted to be a dancer. The Reverend said, quote she had beautiful curls like her big sister Kimberly and fair hair like her big brother Adam. She was a pretty talented little girl with a big personality, a real charmer. No one could be miserable when Jenny was around. She was also a real chatterbox and quite a poser. She was a talented all-rounder who excelled at her weekly dancing class. So you know, similar to Sam, jenny sounds like she had a real big personality and sort of brought smiles to people all around her and in her short life.
Speaker 1:Now, as I said, sam and Toby married in 1994. Again, I couldn't find loads of information about Toby Day's childhood, but according to the Daily Mail, he joined Thames Valley Police when he was 19 years old and went on to build his career in the police force, culminating in an inspector position at Leicestershire Police Force. According to a BBC News report, day actually won a bravery award in 2001 for an off-duty arrest when he was at a supermarket with his daughter. He was also once the General Secretary of the Police Cycling Federation and apparently a fitness enthusiast as well. He also apparently ran the London Marathon in 2008 in memory of a colleague who'd been murdered by her ex-partner, which is sort of ironic but tells me that he at least knows the pain of intimate partner homicide. So Day served in the Leicestershire Police.
Speaker 1:Now Leicestershire is in the Midlands of the UK and its main city is Leicester. The police force in Leicestershire serves the county and its neighbouring county Rutland, which is the smallest county in England. It also has a specific online service for reporting rape and sexual assault and has a statement about its commitment to ending violence against women and girls, which starts quote Leicestershire police will not accept violence against women and girls and sexism, misogyny or predatory behaviour, and we will build trust and confidence through our commitment to victims and communities. I don't know what its strategy or approach was back in 2011, though Now the Day family lived in a town called Melton Malbury. It's not far from us actually.
Speaker 1:Now, you might not have heard of the town itself. You might not have heard the town itself, but you might have heard of its main export, which is the Melton Moby Pork Pie. It's a well-known Leicestershire delicacy along with Stilton cheese, actually and the unique aspect of the Melton Moby Pork Pie is that the crust is hand raised. Fans of the Great British Bake Off will know what that means, and it's actually protected by the European Union Protected Geographical Indication Status, which basically means that only pies made in the designated zone around Melton using uncured pork may bear the Melton Mowbray name. So Melton Mowbray the town, rather than the pie is around 90 miles north of Leicester and has a population. It had a population of around 28,000 in 2019.
Speaker 1:So here we have, you know, relatively normal, happy family living together in a Midlands town, just getting on with life. That was all about to change, though. Now let's take a quick break here. This autumn, I'll be putting my money or my running where my mouth is, and have signed up to run the Royal Parks Half Marathon to raise money for Women's Aid, the national domestic abuse charity. Now you know how passionate I am about Women's Aid and the work they do supporting survivors of domestic abuse and trying to change society to end abuse against women and children. The link to my fundraising page is in the episode notes and on my socials. Anything you give is always gratefully received and will help Women's Aid continue to deliver life-saving support and advocate for change for women and children. If you aren't able to give anything, then please do share the link around and thank you so much in advance.
Speaker 1:So let's rewind to early December 2011. Toby Day had just been told that he was being fired from Leicestershire Police for gross misconduct and, according to the Daily Mail quote, he had been sacked for misusing police systems and matters concerning honesty and integrity. So suddenly, this decorated police inspector, who clearly loved his job had been unceremoniously sacked. I am sure this was devastating and life-changing news for the whole family. On Thursday, the 8th of December 2011,. Day and his wife Sam met with her parents, janet and John, for a coffee in local town, market Overton, after dropping Jenny at school. According to the Mirror, while out in town with Sam, toby Day received a phone call which informed him that there were newspapers and media outlets asking questions about his dismissal. News articles state that after he received that call, his mood was dark and he seemed to become quite hostile. John Sam's dad talked to BBC News about that morning and said quote he looked a little bit nervous, but he thought we thought he was just having a bit of an off day now.
Speaker 1:Later on that day, around 4 20 in the afternoon, the day's eldest daughter, kimberley, turned up at a local school with stab wounds to her neck, raising the alarm that her father had launched an attack on the whole family. The police attended immediately and, after some attempts to negotiate with, day, entered the property around 5.20pm. What police found when they entered the house would shock any first responder. They found 13-year-old Adam on the living room floor with stab wounds to his chest. He was still alive Upstairs. They then found Sam and Jenny, who had both died on a double bed in a bedroom. Upstairs they also found Day, who had taken his own life.
Speaker 1:During the inquest, the Home Office pathologist, guy Rutty, talked about Sam's injuries and said quote the most likely sequence of events was there was an initial assault which resulted in the injury to the eye and other minor injuries. She was then strangled and that could certainly have rendered her unconscious if not resulted in her death. Finally, we are of the opinion that she was stabbed. The police also believe that Jenny was stabbed three times in the side, one puncturing her lung, but that ligature strangulation was a contributing factor to her death as well. Day had then stabbed himself six times. Now the police found a knife in the dishwasher with Sam's blood on it and also found that she had an injury to her eye which applied. As the pathologist said that she had been hit around the face before she died and had experienced an initial assault before they stabbed her and strangled her.
Speaker 1:And from what I've read about this case, this is what I think happened that awful afternoon. After receiving the news that the press were looking into his sacking from the police and misconduct, day became angry, resentful and violent. He took his anger out on Sam first of all when they got home, hunching her and potentially stabbing her, hence the knife in a dishwasher. Then he turned this anger on the kids, stabbing them all. He fatally wounded Jenny. Adam was wounded, as was Kimberly, but she was able to run out and get help. He then finally stabbed and strangled Sam, who was upstairs, possibly trying to protect Jenny. I just can't imagine the fear they all felt in that house just one normal Thursday afternoon. After the police entered the property, all the children were taken to the local Queen's Medical Centre for treatment, but sadly, as we know, jenny was declared dead.
Speaker 1:Now, before we talk about what happened in the aftermath of this horrific act, I want to hark back to episode four of this podcast and the case of the bluestone family. And you'll remember, carl bluestone killed his wife, jill, and Henry and Chandler, as well as injuring his other children before taking his own life. Now let's talk a bit about police officer perpetrated abuse and violence, and you'll remember from episode four that, in the wake of the horrific production and murder of Sarah Everard by serving police officer Wayne Cousins, baroness Louise Casey was tasked with conducting an inquiry into the culture and conduct of the Met Police. I've linked the report in the episode notes and just to remind you this is what the Casey report found. It found that women had been abandoned by the Metropolitan Police.
Speaker 1:Her report states that there was evidence of the Met's failure to protect women. It was found both in its handling of cases and the treatment of women within its own ranks. Sexism was so rife that officers didn't even hide it when Casey's team visited them, with women being spoken over and put down in meetings. Her report concluded that women were subjected to unwanted sexual attention from the beginning of their careers. She also found that rape had effectively been legalised in London. One officer said the detection rate, so the proportion of cases where a suspect had been identified for rape, was so low that it had basically been legalised.
Speaker 1:The report found an endemic culture of disbelieving victims of rape and sexual offences and a toxic work environment for officers investigating those cases. She also found institutional misogyny in the Met. There were institutional problems with racism, misogyny and homophobia, and they've long been thought to be more endemic and existential than the force wanted to admit. The excuse of a few bad apples moved from flimsy to ridiculous, she found as more and more reports uncovered toxic culture of misogyny, racism and homophobia, bolstered by a wall of silence and intolerance to whistleblowing, and Casey's report specifically attacked the deeply troubling toxic culture in the Met's Specialist Firearms Command known as MO19. And she recommended that specialist teams should be formed to deal with rape and sexual offences and that they make their domestic abuse service more victim-centred.
Speaker 1:And looking specifically at police officer perpetrated domestic abuse, baroness Casey found that quote policing will attract those who wish to abuse the powers conferred by a warrant card. The Met has not taken this fact seriously. Its vetting processes are not vigilant in identifying clear warning signs, such as previous indecent exposure or domestic abuse from applicant officers. She also concluded that women and children in london had been put at risk due to the quote deprioritization and despecialization of public protection. And I just although this is about the Met and it's about perpetrated, you know, police perpetrated domestic abuse I just think it's really important that we remind ourselves about the context and culture of police and what potentially Toby Day was working in in that time, and the Casey report was from last year and we're talking about 12 years before that, in 2011.
Speaker 1:So I can't imagine that the sort of misogyny and sexism that she found was any better 12 years ago. I think also, it's really important to flag that a few weeks ago, the current Met Police Commissioner, mark Rowley, to flag that a few weeks ago, the current Met Police Commissioner, mark Rowley, talked about the levels of crime against women and girls and in a statement that was surprising in that it was actually based in reality and seemed to understand what children were up against, mark Rowley talked about there being up to four million perpetrators of violence against women and children, who are mainly men, with one in 10 people being victims, who are mainly women and children, are mainly men, with one in ten people being victims, who are mainly women and children. Now, as stark as this quote is, it was actually good to see that being taken seriously by the Met Commissioner. So I think, yeah, it's just really important for us to understand that context of police violence against women and children where we're at now, how people are responding to it now, but also the culture that Toby Day might have been working in.
Speaker 1:So back to Sam and Jenny there was an inquest into their murders about 11 months later and the coroner for Rutland and North Leicestershire, trevor Kirkman, recorded a verdict of unlawful killing for Sam and Jenny and he said he was satisfied that no third party had been involved in their deaths. He recorded a verdict of death at his own hands for day. Adam and Kimberley were actually at the inquest and the coroner said, quote no one here and in the much wider community can fail to have been touched by these tragic incidents. I offer my sincere condolences to the surviving children at this enormous loss that you have suffered and indeed to the wider family. There has been tremendous support within your wider community, within the church, within the school, within the local community, and it is that support, no doubt, that will help you continue your journey.
Speaker 1:No one affected by these events will ever forget what has happened. I hope you will be able to journey on with the help and support. He thanked Adam and Kimber Kimberly for attending the hearing and added, quote I hope in some way that hearing what happened firsthand would help you to move forward. It's hard to imagine anything much more traumatic than this, and I think his last statement there probably encapsulates how all of the cases that we're talking about in the podcast are. It's really difficult to imagine anything much more traumatic than a man killing his family or trying to kill his whole family Now as you can imagine there was a very strong community response to the murders.
Speaker 1:Neighbours of the days told a Telegraph online video that they knew Sam pretty well and they were just really shocked about what happened. And much of the community response focused on providing support for Adam and Kimberly and just real disbelief at what they had done. And in a very common trope that you hear me talk about all the time now, the media response to what Day did was seemed nothing but praise. In fact, a Guardian article said quote Ivan Stafford, chairman of Leicestershire Police Federation, said Day had been a very capable and respected inspector. Are we having an effing joke here? Really, this guy killed his whole family and yet somehow that is totally whitewashed from all the media coverage. I'm so sick of this.
Speaker 1:Even a BBC news article started by saying quote former police inspector Toby Day, who was found fatally injured along with his wife and daughter, was an award-winning officer hailed for his bravery. I mean what? What? The actual that was the first sentence of the news article man found fatally injured what you mean? After he had murdered his wife and child and tried to kill his other two children. If you had read just that article, you'd think that he was maybe fatally injured trying to stave off an attacker or something like that. I actually haven't found any news articles that just clearly state what he did. He was a murderer and tried to kill all of his children alongside his wife. I just can't with this guy.
Speaker 1:And it is said that Leicestershire police referred the case to the Independent Office of Police Complaints and I found this statement that then said the IPCC will not carry out a investigation in the incident. Um, quote the ipcc has now completed an assessment of a referral from leicestershire police into the incident in melton mowbray yesterday in which three people died, in which one person murdered two other people. Um, it continues, quote we have decided the tragic incident continue can continue to be investigated by the east midlands special operations unit major crime team without any need for ipcc investigation. So I've still submitted a freedom of information request to the ipcc to see if they have any more reports or assessments on day and I'll keep you updated if I receive a reply.
Speaker 1:Now there isn't much out there. Looking at why Poby Day did what he did, so much of the coverage seems to be, you know, really wanting to sweep this under the carpet as a tragic incident without really delving too deeply into why, why it happened and why he did what he did. I think maybe there is a fear around. Actually, you know, they were a normal family. He seemed like a normal great guy and looking too closely at why he did what he did could actually be quite scary for people. But it just makes me feel really sad that there hasn't been that much introspection or consideration about why he killed his wife and child and tried to kill his two other children and they have to live with that. And I feel like you know that the response has been like oh, he was really sad about losing his job, so case closed. But is that enough? And while I can completely understand that someone who has received life-changing news such as the loss of their career due to misconduct being upset and angry about that, I can even understand that a person might be contemplating taking their own life. As I could see, it represents not just the loss of a career but an identity as well, and I really would want that person to seek help from, like the Samaritans or other support that they can access, and I would never shame anyone for experiencing mental ill health and, you know, get support for mental ill health myself. But what I'm questioning and wondering is how the anger and upset about the loss of a career turned so quickly into violently attacking your whole family. How does that happen? Where has that anger towards your family, your wife, your children come from? There are some missing jigsaw pieces here completely, and it doesn't feel like anyone has sort of put them all together. And it doesn't feel like anyone has sort of put them all together. Now. I've also seen no evidence or whiff of domestic abuse, really, but I don't think we should rule it out. As we know, it is often so clearly hidden, even from those closest to the family, and for someone who has received devastating news, such as the loss of their career and their reaction is to turn on their family, I feel like there's anger and resentment there and I wonder if it had been there for a long time.
Speaker 1:Now there is one article in the Mirror that speculated that Day's gross misconduct charge that he was fired for was for using the police national database for looking up someone he thought Sam was having an affair with Could be a sign of controlling behaviour. I haven't read that anywhere else, I've just seen it in that one article, so I don't want to say that's exactly what happened, and no one will truly know what happened on that afternoon in December 2011. I can't help thinking that there are so many unanswered questions here. And, on a final side note, as with the Bluestone family, when I was researching this case, there were so many photos and stories about Day, but not that many of Sam. Even in articles about their funerals, the articles reported the comments and tributes to Day before the ones about Sam and Jenny. I know that it might sound like a small thing, but putting these things together and you get victims lost and the story being more and more about the perpetrator, and I really hope that this episode has done something to counter that.
Speaker 1:Now Sam's parents, john and Janet, spoke out in 2012 about their daughter and what happened to her. They actually talked about how they don't feel anger, but just shock, and they felt sad that Day was in such a terrible mental state that they couldn't help him. They have set up a charity in Sam's name to support families to go on day trips around Melton, mowbray and Rutland. I couldn't find a link to their website, but if I do, I'll add it to my socials. And her parents just talked about how much Sam loved children and family time and so wanted to dedicate the charity to her. This episode is dedicated to Sam and Jenny Day, to their lovely and bright personalities who brought joy to everyone, to their family and friends, and to Adam and Kimberly who have had to live with what their dad did. I'm thinking of you all.
Speaker 1:This has been killer in the family podcast, written and produced by me, claire Laxton, with music from the brilliant Tombox and Pixabay. I'll be back next week with another episode, so please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Don't forget to send me through any comments or questions to my insta at killerInTheFamilyPod, or through a text via the episode notes, and do let me know any stories you'd like me to cover as well. Until then, I've been Claire Laxton. This is Killer In the Family Podcast. Until next time, take care, thank you, thank you.
